


Caterwaul

by Distantyelling



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, BAMF Sam Wilson, Birth, Blood and Violence, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Mpreg, Mpreg Peter Parker, Possession, Psychic Abilities, Rape/Non-con Elements, dark au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-12-27 18:56:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21123614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Distantyelling/pseuds/Distantyelling
Summary: It all happened so fast. One minute Bucky was sitting on the table with an empty jello cup, and in another, he pushed Brock Rumlow away from the kid.“ GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM.”, Bucky screamed. The boy was looking at him with terrified eyes, his lips quivering.Sam held him tight and pulled him away, signalling one of the guards to get out the syringe. Peter kept looking at him, his heart beating fast.“ Leave him alone you bastards. He is just a kid.”, Bucky was screaming at the top of his voice. The commotion brought the doctors out, including Steve and Tony.“ Save him Sam. You..you have to..Sam save him.”, Bucky kept repeating in his drowsy state, while Sam kept assuring that it’s okay.





	1. The impostor

**Author's Note:**

> New story guys, lemme know if you like it. :)

Steve entered the building that’s supposed to be his workplace for the next whole year. The big three storey, all white, kind of like the ones you see in old movies, with wide railings and columnar construction. The main gate creaked when he pushed it. For a moment, a weird thought came to his mind, that he is alone here. The hospital is outside the city, trees everywhere, and an old fountain at the entrance with three statues of jumping fishes. He peeked in to see clean water, giving a sigh of relief. The building was awfully silent for a mental health facility. He took a deep breath and went inside, reaching the man sitting on the front desk.

“ I am here to see Dr. Stark.”, Steve said while looking around, patients were wandering in the lobby. A lot of white uniformed men and women were around, nurses probably. The man gave him directions to Dr. Stark’s cabin and he followed. He knocked and then entered the office.

“ Dr. Rogers. Nice of you to join us here.”, Howard Stark stood up and shook his hand.

“ My pleasure Sir.”, he started completing the formalities, sneaking glances at the other doctor.

“ Dr. Anthony will guide you to your cabin. I will see you around.”, Howard signed his papers and then carried on with his work. He left with Dr. Anthony and saw his room. It was a standard doctor’s cabin, a separation and a bed, two cupboards, a desk with various instruments neatly placed on and a chair.

“ Do I have to sleep in here too?”, he asked with a smirk. Dr. Anthony pushed him to the nearest wall and placed a hungry kiss on his lips.

“ There is plenty of space in my room Dr. Rogers.”, Tony had a grip on his neck.

“ Goddamn it Tony, the door isn’t locked.”, Steve shivered at the touch of Tony’s lips to his ear.

“ I don’t care Steve. I missed you so much.”, Tony was back to his lips again and Steve was grateful for that. The only reason he is here is because Tony’s father has forced him to come back from New York and work in this old mental hospital, which he just took over. After three months, Tony begged Steve to take a job here, just so they can be together. Steve didn’t deny, what sane person would pass up the opportunity to work with their boyfriend.

“ As much as I am loving this, you need to start work now. A new patient is coming. Dad wants to see how you handle him.”, Tony sighed, his forehead touching Steve’s chest.

“ He doesn’t know about me does he?”, Steve looked at him with a questioning look.

“ Sorry, I will tell him I promise. The hospital is new and he is being very stressful about it. I have never seen him this worked up. To be honest, the place gives me the creeps.”, Tony made a face and Steve didn’t know what to say. He is thinking what Tony said out loud.

“ Tell me about it. Specially the fountain on the entrance.”, Steve said.

“ Umm, what fountain?”, Tony asked. Steve looked at him for a moment.

“ Yeah, right, very funny Tony.”, Tony laughed and placed an urgent kiss.

“ The patient I told you about, rape victim. It’s a complicated one. I haven’t read his file but the way dad was tense, I can tell it’s not good. I hope you get him to talk a little.”, Tony discreetly went out of his office after that. Steve sighed and started getting his things in order. Boyfriend or not, he is here to work and he takes his job very seriously.

* * *

Peter went in and sat down in the cabin. His hands curled on his stomach while he stared blankly at the table. Steve was watching how his eyes trailed to the ground time to time. The slight swell on his stomach was visible but it was obvious that he didn’t want anyone to know. Steve’s heart ached for the kid. He started reading his file.

“ It says here you are nineteen?”, Steve asked gently. The boy’s file was disaster. His parents died when he was sixteen so he lived with his aunt. A year ago, his aunt died too. He worked odd jobs to get by. The details about the incident are not mentioned. But that is why he is here. Steve waited for any answer but the boy was still silent.

“ Mr. Parker?”, Steve tried again. This time the boy looked up for a second before resuming the staring contest with Steve’s desk.

“ It doesn’t matter.”, he said slowly. Steve was already writing on his pad.

“ What doesn’t matter? You can tell me anything, if you want to.”, Steve added softly. His hands fell on his lap, fidgeting now. Steve understood why Tony said this was a sensitive case. The boy looks completely withdrawn, as if he is afraid to hope for anything better.

They sat in silence for the remaining hour. Peter was taken away by one of the nurses to his room. Steve put his head in his hands. A nineteen year old with so much pain held inside, that he has no faith in words anymore. He tried to look at his file, a police report or anything, but there was none, which was odd because it was a rape case. He wrapped up his file and locked his cabin. Peter needs help and Steve needs complete information.

* * *

“ How are you today James?”, Tony was looking at James’ file like he does in his every session. In front of him, James Buchanan Barnes sat with his hand resting on his lap, looking out of the small window in Tony’s office.

“ My name is Bucky.”, he smiled sweetly, too sweetly. Tony understood instantly that he is in one of his moods today.

“ Okay. Bucky how are you today?”, Tony asked again. One would think that someone like Tony, who can’t stand still for a second is unfit for a serious job like a psychiatrist. Strangely, when Tony sits in his chair, he becomes a different person. His childhood has given him a deep understanding about people. He knows how to listen.

“ Well, nothing has changed. Still have my one hand, two feet. Haven’t grown a tail yet or horns. That’d be awesome though. The horns, not the tail.”, he said, looking at Tony all the time. Tony tried to control his smile. Bucky is always trying to be hilarious, one of the only things that remained from his life before this facility. Bucky is here from past two years. After a terrible accident took his left hand, the guy sort of lost it. His family described him as very enthusiastic and funny, but after losing his arm, the man lost hope. To a point that he became delusional, and sometimes extremely violent. After that, things only went downhill.

“ I see. Anything else you would like to tell me? How is your art therapy going?”, Tony asked.

“ You see Dr. Stark, art therapy is for people who won’t talk. I am not afraid to talk. It’s you, who is afraid to listen.”, Bucky said lazily, as if he is bored from this conversation.

“ We do believe you, on the parts that are rational.”, Tony said gently.

“ Oh, so the part where I say that your father has black eyes is unbelievable. It’s right there. How can you not see it?”, Bucky leaned close to Tony, his chest touching the desk. Tony tried to remain composed, but Bucky’s eyes were terrifying.

“ You have created a fantasy, where everyone who is trying to help you is a demon with black eyes. I have told you before Bucky, do you remember?”, Bucky huffed and sat back on his chair. After a moment, he started laughing.

“ There are so many of them here. But you, you don’t have those. I get scared for you y’know. That impostor you call your father, what if he hurts you? You are a good man Tony. You don’t deserve that.”, Bucky whispered his words, still afraid that someone will listen. According to him, there are ears everywhere. It’s the same every time. Bucky would warn Tony that his father will hurt him and Tony would explain that it’s not real. Tony would smile though, his father did hurt him, but it was all in the past now. He has long forgiven him for his childhood. His father was all he had when his mother died. But his father chose work and Tony was left on the mercy of vast number of servants in Stark household. But Tony has learnt not to dwell in the past. He has Steve now.

The session came to an end and Bucky was being taken out by the guards, when Steve came in.

“ Sorry, they told me it was over.”, Steve saw two guards and Bucky standing in the middle.

“ It is, what are you doing here?”, Tony stood up from his chair and came to Steve.

“ See, he doesn’t have those eyes either.”, Bucky smirked and left with the guards. Steve looked at Tony in confusion.

“ Does he even need guards? He only has one hand.”, Steve asked in doubt.

“ Oh don’t underestimate Mr. Barnes. He broke Sam Wilson’s hand. Schizophrenia, has extremely violent episodes. Thinks everyone here is a demon with black eyes.”, Tony kept looking at Bucky walking back to the common hall.

“ Oh. Here, Parker’s file, there is a lot of paperwork missing.”, Tony took the file and started looking.

“ I will ask what’s going on. This should be complete. How did it go?”, Tony asked.

“ It will take time. From what I have assessed, he doesn’t think anyone will listen what he has to say. So he doesn’t talk, thinking it’s all a waste of time.”, Steve said, his eyes still full of pain. Tony understood.

“ Are you alright?”, Tony asked, voice only a little above a whisper.

“ Yeah, I am fine just... I saw the kid Tony. Nineteen years old and he trusts no one. It must’ve been terrible.”, Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.

“ What happened was out of our control. You are here to help and that’s what matters.”, Steve looked at Tony and smirked.

“ You are taking my session now, Dr. Stark?”, Tony smiled.

“ Hey, I take care of you and you take care of me, tonight, preferably in my bed.”, Tony winked and Steve slapped his chest before going back to his office.

* * *

Bucky was sitting on the table in common room, looking around with curious eyes.

“ Looking for me?”, Sam came to his table. He is in his usual security uniform. Bucky smiled at him.

“ Sam!”, Bucky’s face radiated happiness.

“ Look what I got.”, he handed him a red jello cup and Bucky’s eyes brightened.

“ You are the best. Green is the worst jello ever.”, he quickly started eating and then offered some to Sam.

“ Nah man, you have it. It’s the least I can do.”, Bucky looked up, his smile saddened. Sam is the only one who understands him in this hell hole. Their friendship started in a very unconventional way. He broke his hand and then felt really guilty when he came to his senses. So, when Sam came back after his leave, Bucky offered him his pudding at lunch. He doesn’t have anything else to offer anyway. Sam accepted. After that, the few words that he shares with him during lunch are the highlight of his boring day. Sam often saves his dessert for him. It’s against the rules but Sam is head of security, so he gets away with stuff. He finished his jello. His good mood didn’t last long, because Brock Rumlow was standing in the corner with someone.

“ You know he is one of them right.”, Bucky whispered. Sam looked back and then carefully moved away from him. Bucky didn’t mind, Sam needs his job and Bucky needs Sam. It’s logical.

Then, he saw the boy, freshly changed into the shield hospital patient uniform. He is innocent, Bucky can tell. His eyes are shiny with tears but he refuses to cry. The boy’s hand is wrapped around his belly, other hand is holding the blanket he must be given. He looks, no Bucky is definite that he is pregnant.

It all happened so fast. One minute Bucky was sitting on the table with an empty jello cup, and in another, he pushed Brock Rumlow away from the kid.

“ GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM.”, Bucky screamed. The boy was looking at him with terrified eyes, his lips quivering. Two guards grabbed Bucky by his shoulder, forcing him to kneel down. Brock got back up from the floor and growled. Bucky didn’t back down and jumped at him again, falling on him and punching him right on the jaw. Sam held him tight and pulled him away, signalling one of the guards to get out the syringe. Peter kept looking at him, his heart beating fast.

“ Leave him alone you bastards. He is just a kid.”, Bucky was screaming at the top of his voice. The commotion brought the doctors out, including Steve and Tony. The syringe went into his neck and his arm lost the struggle. Sam was still holding him just in case.

“ Save him Sam. You..you have to..Sam save him.”, Bucky kept repeating in his drowsy state, while Sam kept assuring that it’s okay. Steve looked at the scene. Rumlow slowly guided Peter away to his room, but something wasn’t right. Something in Peter’s eyes was different than before. He looked as if he just woke up from a very long sleep. And what is this guy’s deal? He agrees with him that they have to keep Peter safe. But how does someone even know anything about the guy who came into this facility mere hours ago?

Tony was asking Sam what happened, Steve tagged along to know. After all, Peter is his patient.

“ He kept screaming to leave the new guy alone.”, Sam said, the nurses were taking Bucky to his room. Steve saw how Sam kept looking until Bucky was out of sight. Tony sighed and looked at Steve.

“ Okay, I need his file too. Your patient scared the shit out of Peter.”, Steve said to Tony.

“ I don’t understand. Barnes was doing so good this past month.”, Tony ran his hand through his hair. Tony is treating Bucky ever since he came here. In past three months, he has tried his best to help him, but every time he sees a little progress, some episode happens and Barnes is back to imprisonment in his room.

* * *

Steve decided to talk to Howard about Peter. So he went to his office.

“ Dr. Rogers, is there a problem?”, he looked surprised. It was 9 pm and the facility was again in silence.

“ The patient you sent, his file is incomplete.”, Steve gave him the file. But he kept it on his table and stood up instead.

“ I know. I have put in a request for complete records. Till then, you have to manage from what we have.”, Howard was standing too close to Steve.

“ Is this some kind of test? Dr. Stark I assure you...”, but he was interrupted mid sentence, by Howard’s fingers on his own hand. They were moving, slowly fixing themselves on his pulse. Steve gulped at the sudden action.

Before he could react, the door to Howard’s office opened, revealing Tony standing at the entrance. Steve quickly removed his hand from Howard’s grasp and looked at his boyfriend.

“ And I assure you it’s not a test. My son recommended you. I would never doubt his choice. I will see what I can do about Peter.”, Howard smiled at him. Steve walked out, taking Tony with him.

“ Steve wait, I have to talk to my Dad.”, but Steve didn’t listen, he just took him far away from Howard’s office.

“ What do you know about Peter’s case?”, Steve suddenly felt really restless.

“ Whoa, slow down. What’s going on?”, Tony asked.

“ I think there is something your Dad isn’t telling us. Peter’s file isn’t here. He said he has put in a request and it will take time.”, Steve replied.

“ Steve, these things do take time. It’s a complicated case. Stop over thinking.”, Tony tried to talk some sense into him. But Steve wasn’t even looking in his direction. He was holding his wrist, rubbing at the place Howard touched him. It was uncomfortable, but there was something much more deeper. He felt like his veins were humming, he could feel his blood pulsing faster than before.

“ Okay, big guy. You need some sleep. Come on, I have a spot on my bed. You interested?”, Tony said, wiggling his eyebrows and Steve couldn’t help but smile. Whatever it is, he will worry about it tomorrow.

* * *

Peter was sitting on his bed when he heard his door open. He stood up facing opposite way. He already has an idea of what’s coming. He doesn’t look back. His heart betrays him though, because it’s beating so fast, Peter thinks it’s going to burst.

“ You are going to give yourself a heart attack.”, he could feel the man’s breath on his neck. Peter was shivering now. The man enclosed his hands over the small bump that has formed on Peter’s belly. He closed his eyes, tears falling freely now. His limit to control them has weakened.

“ Kill me, please.”, Peter begged. It’s not like he has a choice now.

“ Not yet, sweet heart. Not before I get my daughter.”, his grip tightened on his stomach and Peter gasped, breathing harshly now.

“ If I do that, will you let him go?”, Peter asked. The man, the very owner of this facility was now standing in front of him. Howard Stark, with his black eyes and wicked smile.

“ If I give you your child, will you let Howard go?”, he asked again. It’s the least he could do for the man who gave him a job after his Aunt died. Howard, no, the being wearing Howard Stark’s body laughed.

“ We have a deal.”, he walked out locking Peter in his room again. He sat down on the ground, with his head in his hands, sobbing quietly.

“ I am sorry Mr. Stark. I am so sorry.”, and he kept crying.


	2. The unlikely friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos. I am so glad you guys liked it. Here is the next chapter.

_A week later_

Steve woke up feeling restless again. The feeling hasn’t left him ever since he visited Howard Stark a week ago. It’s becoming unbearable, as if an itch he can’t scratch. Steve is a person who loves his work, but now everything in his routine feels heavy. As if his legs are made of metal and every step he takes is a task. It is an unknown experience for Steve. He doesn’t know if it’s the place or the people that make him queasy. He worked at Bart’s in New York and never felt like this. He went into his bathroom and started fixing the new shower curtain Tony gave him. It’s a pretty lavish curtain for a ridiculously small bathroom and very Tony like. He fixed them and went into his room to get his towel out.

He didn’t notice at first because, his mind was still used to of a curtain less bathroom. It was when he tried to slide it. He saw his new curtain in knots. As if someone kept knotting it until it reduced half it’s size. Steve took it out of the rod and inspected it. It was torn at places and dirty, which was weird because Steve is a neat freak, who keeps even his bathroom spotless. He tried to untangle it but gave up after. For a moment, he thought Tony sneaked in and pulled out a very elaborate prank. But Tony would never wake up at 6 am, even if it is to annoy someone. He looked around in his room, paranoid that someone will come out and attack him. After a lot of inquiry, he couldn’t figure out who or what might’ve caused it. He put back the curtain in his wardrobe. Tony will be so pissed.

* * *

Peter was again sitting in Steve’s cabin, picking on his sweater sleeve. His belly looked more prominent now with the sweater. Steve got out his note pad and started.

“ Would you like to talk about the baby Peter?”, Steve encouraged with a smile. The whole week went fruitless. Peter wouldn’t talk. Even today, his red rimmed eyes clearly show that he has cried too much. Steve’s heart broke for the kid. He wonders why he decided to carry the baby which was result of rape. He had other options. But Peter decided to carry the baby to term and give up for adoption. Steve understands the sentiment, but doesn’t understand why someone like Peter, who is suffering from extreme PTSD would think that it is a good idea. Peter only shrugged as the answer to his question.

“ Do you know how far along are you?”, Steve got his physical from a fellow doctor. He is taking Peter through step by step, so that he knows Peter acknowledges the things happening to him too.

“ Sixteen weeks.”, Peter murmured, still looking down. Steve kept analysing his face. He always talks in a robotic voice, as if his actions aren’t his own.

“ Okay. How is the staff treating you? Everything okay?”, Steve asked.

“ I guess.”, he answered again. Looking at the locked door, where Rumlow must be standing outside. Something flickered in his eyes for a second and then he was back to his former state. Steve couldn’t help but think that Peter was working under someone’s influence. It’s possible, Steve has seen many cases of abuse where victims appeared extremely normal and self dependent. If only he could get Peter’s file and look for a reason.

“ You know you can tell me anything right? It’s completely confidential. No one knows what we talk.”, Steve briefly looked at the door to give Peter a hint about what he is saying. Peter looked at him for a moment, before giving a weak smile. The boy’s whole face changed when he smiled. For the first time, he looked like he was actually nineteen.

“ Yeah.”, he said in mocking tone. The smile vanished after that and Steve sighed.

“ I can only help if you open up to me Peter. The pain lessens if you share. It’s difficult but it works every time. You can try too.”, Steve smiled at him. Peter straightened up in his chair and looked Steve in his eyes. It was a pretty bold move for someone like Peter, who tries to look small.

“ No one can help me Dr. Rogers. No one.”, it was the only sentence Peter has said with such conviction. He almost stated it as a fact. He knew Peter had given up on any hope. But hearing it today from his mouth, made it very real. The session ended again with little progress.

* * *

Bucky was sitting in Tony’s office again. This time without a smile on his face. In fact, he hasn’t said anything in past seven days. It’s his way of coping. Tony knows that now. He would stop talking and glare at anyone who would strike a conversation with him.

“ Do you want to talk about what happened?”, Tony asked. Bucky didn’t answer, didn’t even look at Tony, just sat still.

“ You said yourself Bucky, you are not afraid to talk. And I know you don’t lie.”, it was right. Bucky would always tell them what he sees. Even if they have told him a million times, that his hallucinations aren’t real. The drugs only make him slow, but he always talks. He would explain his theories, about the black eyed people, about Rumlow, about his father. He never holds anything back. Sometimes, Tony envies him for that. After a few minutes, Bucky finally took a breath and started talking.

“ Rumlow is one of them.”, Bucky said without looking up.

“ And who is them?”, even though Tony knows it, Bucky needs to say it. He pressed his lips into a thin line, glaring at Tony.

“ You are gonna make me say it, aren’t you? The people who work for your father, the ones who follow him, the impostor.”, he spat out.

“ I work for my father too Bucky. There is no impostor.”, Tony started the speech again.

“ Not you. Them, the ones who are rotten. I ...I see them. I see them laughing at me, because no one believes me.”, Bucky covered his face in his hands. He has said these things before, it’s the same dance every time.

“ But Sam Wilson does. Right?”, Tony knows he is playing with fire now. He has noticed his closeness with Sam. And he had let it slide, even though it’s against the rules.

“ Leave Sam out of this.”, Bucky said looking down. Tony complied.

“ Rumlow was taking the boy to his room. But I could see his face, his real one, the corrupt one underneath his skin. It’s burnt, his skin is charred. I was just trying to protect the kid. Sooner or later, they will hurt him. Just like they hurt Hill.”, he said.

Right! Maria Hill again. Hill only appears when Bucky is extremely distressed. Maria hill is one of his most elaborate hallucinations. He thinks that people with black eyes have killed Maria. When in reality, Maria committed suicide from the top floor in the hospital. It was a very tragic incident. She was a very efficient guard and they all miss her. Bucky thinks Maria is asking him to avenge her death. Tony started writing on his pad, when Bucky spoke again.

“ I am not crazy Tony. I wasn’t always like this. Your father wasn’t either.”, It’s rare when Bucky uses his name like this. It happens when Bucky is pouring out his heart and soul in front of him. But it only makes Tony worry more. This is the highest point. Bucky is back on his worst in a very small time, which isn’t good.

* * *

Bucky was playing with his food during lunch. His mind was all over the place. Tony asking about Sam wasn’t a good sign. If Sam gets in trouble because of him, then Bucky would never forgive himself. He saw the boy coming to him with his tray. He sat up with a straight face to meet the kid he scared a week ago. He sat down near him and kept looking at his tray.

“ I have a message for you. It’s from Sam.”, Peter said while looking around. Rumlow wasn’t in the hall today. Sam wasn’t either. Bucky was focused on his own tray.

“ Is he okay?”, Bucky asked impatiently.

“ He has been called to your doctor’s office. He said not to worry about him.”, Peter said in monotonous voice.

“ Easier said than done Sam.”, bucky whispered and ran his hand through his hair. If Sam is gone from here, Bucky will be left all alone in a place full of evil. Peter was eating in silence, while Bucky low key panicked. After few minutes, Peter turned a little to see him.

“ That day..wh..when you, y’know. What happened?”, Peter asked. His voice was even lower than a whisper. Bucky sighed and looked at him.

“ I could tell you. But you are not going to believe me so what’s the point.”, Bucky started playing with the eggs on his plate again. Peter wanted to laugh at the situation. If only he knew, how much Peter’s mind has opened since last few months.

“ I see them too.”, Peter whispered. Bucky looked at him, his brows furrowed and he shifted a little closer.

“ Okay, who told you to fuck with me huh? Was it Rollins?”, Bucky was furious. It’s not the first time Rumlow or Rollins had pulled a prank on him. One would think that a place like this would’ve made them compassionate. It’s not like Bucky is asking for their pity. He just wants them to leave him alone. Peter was looking at his tray again. His breathing fastened, Bucky noticed. He couldn’t help but worry about the kid. Peter’s hand covered his stomach again. He was shaking now.

“ Woah kid, calm down.”, Bucky tried to console him. Peter took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needs to gather all the courage that’s left in him to have this conversation.

“ It.. it was in my room. He has him and..and if I don’t do this, he is going to kill him.”, Peter was hyperventilating now. Bucky looked around if anyone noticed. Then he put his hand on the boy’s back, trying to sooth him.

“ Okay breath first, talk later.”, Bucky whispered to him. Peter somehow managed to keep himself from passing out.

“ What does he want you to do?”, Bucky asked. He knows who Peter is talking about. He kept telling them that Howard Stark isn’t there anymore, that it’s an impostor. Peter tightened his hold on his midsection.

“ He wants the baby.”, Bucky cursed under his breath. Peter covered his face and propped his elbows on the table.

“ If I don’t give him the baby, he is not gonna leave Howard alone. I..I don’t know what to do. Who to ask help from; no one would listen to me. They ..they already think I am crazy.”, Peter was trying really hard to hold his tears in. He was sick of crying all the time. Bucky wished he could lie and say it’s gonna be okay.

“ But then, you came running to me that day and ...and you saw them like I do. I wanted to come to you so bad but then Sam told me you weren’t allowed here for a week. I just.. I wanted to talk to someone. I feel like my head is going to explode.”, Bucky was just listening with his lips parted a little in shock. He knows the feeling. How he kept screaming to Becca that he is not crazy or begging his Dad not to send him here. Bucky believed what he saw was real. No one else did. He yelled and talked all he wanted but no one would listen, just like Peter.

“ You can talk to me..”, Bucky waited for Peter to get the cue.

“ Peter, my name is Peter.”, Bucky smiled at him, the same one that he gives to Sam.

“ Peter, what about the father? If he claims the custody, Howard won’t get his hands on your baby. Think about it.”, Bucky started thinking a way out. Peter looked at him.

“ I can’t, because it’s him. it’s his baby.”, Peter said, his eyes looked scared while Bucky’s widened in shock. He was always worried about what they were gonna do next after Maria. Now, he has the answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got darker than I expected. :(


	3. Subconscious invaded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are going to suffer in this one. :(

Sam stood in front of Tony, who was still looking at some files. After a moment he looked up.

“ Sam, sit down.”, Tony greeted him with a smile. Sam obliged and sat on the chair in front of him.

“ Why am I here Doc?”, Sam asked, fidgeting with the paper weight on the desk.

“ Sam, it’s okay. We are off the record here.”, Tony said and Sam gave him a small smile. Sam Wilson knew Tony from school, when he was a hyper active, talking ‘_a mile a minute’_ kind of kid. He has forgotten how many times he had rescued him from the bullies. Tony and James Rhodes were best of buddies. But then Rhodey joined the army and Tony went to medical school. For Sam, they were both like little brothers.

“ How are you Sammy? And how’s Bucky?”, Sam’s good mood soured the moment he said that name. He knew this was about Bucky.

“ Cut to the chase Tony, it will be easier if you say it clearly.”, Sam stared into his eyes and Tony sighed.

“ What you’re doing is not healthy, for him. He thinks you believe him, he is becoming dependent Sam. You don’t understand how hard it would be for his recovery. I didn’t say anything till now, but..”, Tony ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. Sam is like a big brother, he can’t just assess his authority on him. Tony doesn’t understand why Sam is so involved with Bucky. He is always very professional. Sam looked up and stared blankly in his eyes.

“ But? What you gonna do?”, Sam asked, and Tony gaped at him. He has never talked to him like that.

“ No! Why would...what’s going on Sam?”, Tony was worried now. Sam furrowed his brows and then shook his head. He leaned into the table and sighed.

“ I..I can’t tell you. I am sorry.”, Sam whispered. Tony looked at him in confusion.

“ Sam please, he is my patient. I know you care about him. Don’t you want him to be okay, to be out of here? Please.”, Tony tried to convince him. Sam took a moment to think.

“ Promise me if I tell you, you gonna listen like a human being, not like a doctor.”, Sam fixed him with a look and Tony nodded. Sam took a deep breath and continued.

“ He knows about Hill. He knows what happened to her.”, Sam said with a heavy voice and Tony shook his head.

“ Sam, don’t do this to yourself.”, Tony stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. Sam looked away.

“ Would you stop being a shrink for one goddamn second?”, Sam spat out. Tony’s face only saddened more at this.

“ It’s not possible. She was gone in mysterious circumstances. Police is still doing the investigation Sammy. There is no way he could know anything about it.”, Tony kept his calm. This is more serious than he thought.

“ Which is why he is telling the truth. How can he even know Tony? He told me that she didn’t take her life, something I’ve been telling you all since she...”, Sam was getting agitated by the second.

“ There is a big picture of her in the common room, explaining the cause of death. Sam...it’s not your fault.”, Sam suddenly stood up and walked away. Tony could see his hunched shoulders near the office window.

“ He could have read it, might’ve gotten stuck in his subconscious. His schizophrenia is twisting that information. Sam you need to get a grip.”, Tony understood what Sam was feeling. Everyone misses Maria, even Tony. She was energetic, responsible and most importantly a good person. Her death affected all of them. But Sam was her closest friend. Sam turned around and started to leave.

“ He will never lie to me. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”, Sam said, still on his way to the door.

“ I have to change your post.”, Tony said and Sam stopped in his tracks.

“ I can’t let you near Bucky. You are compromising his treatment. I will talk to Dad and shift you to Hall C.”, Tony said, looking down the whole time. He knew he won’t be able to face Sam, whom he betrayed just now. But something different happened when he looked up. It wasn’t betrayal, it was rage. He had only seen Sam like this when he was fighting bullies, who tried to mess with Tony. He never thought he would be facing the same in future.

“ You separate us and I quit. Your call.”, Sam said and walked out, without even looking at Tony, who just flopped down on his seat. What the hell has gotten into Sam, he thought. He has to think of something fast, before the situation gets worse.

* * *

Steve was sleeping in his room. Tony was sleeping less on the bed, more _on_ Steve, with his flailing limbs and open mouth. Steve looked at him when sunlight started peeking in. He smiled a little to see Tony drooling on his chest. He looked at the time and groaned. Ever since he came here, he is having strange dreams. And now he is awake at five in the morning because of them. He is suddenly very grateful for Tony. God knows he wasn’t able to sleep alone in past two weeks.

He tried to get up without waking Tony. His body felt exhausted for no reason. Steve can’t explain the feeling that creeps up his bones nowadays. He looked for his slippers, which were missing from their usual place. He was searching them when his eyes spotted a pair of leather shoes in the corner and jumped in fear.

The shoes were occupied with one Howard Stark glaring at the bed. His throat felt dry.

“ What the hell are you doing Sir?”, Steve was scared for a moment, before realizing that his boyfriend’s father was watching them sleep like a creep.

“ Were you ever gonna tell me about this?”, he gestured between Tony and Steve. He gritted his teeth at the shameless man in front of him.

“ We were, but it doesn’t give you any right to invade our privacy. Why are you in my room?”, Steve wasn’t backing down. He didn’t get good vibes from Tony’s Dad. He had been weird about everything that Steve asked him. He was being very physical with him, sneaking touches here and there and Steve’s skin crawled in those moments, feeling pure disgust. The only thing stopping him from reporting to HR is that he is Tony’s Dad. But after today, he isn’t sure if he could keep that urge at bay anymore.

“ I get it you know. Why Tony likes you. You are defiant..and beautiful.”, he said after the pause and Steve was becoming even more uncomfortable. He was inching closer to him and Steve didn’t know what to do.

“ Tony, TONY WAKE UP!”, Steve screamed but Tony didn’t even stir. He looked at Howard who was only inches away his face.

“ No one will wake up, not until I am here.”, and he gripped Steve’s arms, holding him in place and slamming his lips on Steve’s in a kiss which made him taste blood.

“ Get off!.”, Steve tried to scream between the sudden attack. Howard’s hands were on his back, nails digging deep. Steve never felt this disgusted before or ashamed because he couldn’t get out of a sixty five year old man’s grip. He felt like his asthma was back from his childhood and he heaved.

“ Shh.. it’s going to stop hurting soon.”, he said in a smooth voice and Steve screamed.

“ Steve, Steve wake up.”, Tony’s voice boomed in the room and Steve sat up with a gasp, covered in sweat. He tried to catch his breath and closed his eyes. When Tony tried to embrace him, he jerked back.

“ Steve it’s okay, it’s me, it’s Tony.”, he said in a comforting voice. Steve looked at him, as if he is just waking. He attack hugged him and laid his head on Tony’s shoulders. He could feel Steve’s heart thudding at the contact. He rubbed his back and held tight.

“ It’s okay. It was just a dream, you are safe, with me.”, Tony couldn’t help but worry a little. He has never seen Steve like this before. They are together from the start of their jobs. It’s been three years, which is a long time to get to know someone. This is the first time Steve is acting like he is the one who needs reassurance. Steve let go of the hug and looked down, holding his head in his hands.

“ M’sorry.”, he croaked. His voice sounded rough as if he was screaming in his sleep. Tony kept mumbling comforting words to him. At last, he calmed down.

“ What did you see?”, Tony asked and Steve stiffened. He doesn’t want to remember it at all. The ugly touches, the filthy groping, the taste of blood between lips, he got out of bed and then walked to the bathroom.

“ I am fine. Don’t worry about it.”, Steve managed to get out and closed the bathroom door. He gripped the sink so tight, he feared it might break. He knows it was his mind playing games on him. He is over thinking about Howard’s behavior and having useless nightmares.

But why did it feel so real?

Steve shook his head, trying to get a grip of reality when he felt his back sting. He tried to reach it by his hands but couldn’t. He removed his shirt and looked in the mirror.

Three long angry red lines, seeping blood adorned his back. He slowly walked away from the mirror, sitting on the cold bathroom floor. He remembers vividly, how Howard’s hands snaked over his back and scratched deep.

“ It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.”, he kept repeating, until Tony left for his shift.

* * *

Peter was sitting in the doctor’s office again. Steve came in and Peter looked at him in concern. Yeah, he was a patient here, being tortured by some supernatural entity but Dr. Rogers looked like he had been electrocuted a few times. He had circles around his eyes, looked like didn’t sleep for days. He sat down with a huff and smiled at Peter.

“ Are you okay?”, Peter asked before Steve could start.

“ I am fine. So, how far along?”, Steve tried to be cheerful, but failed. He leaned on his chair and rubbed his eyes.

“ Twenty weeks.”, Peter murmured looking down. His belly has pushed out more, a round bump sitting in his lap. He rested his palm below the navel. Steve thought about his file, which still hasn’t reached him. He was writing down something when Peter spoke again.

“ He is getting in your head, isn’t he?”, Peter whispered and Steve stopped the pen. He looked up as if he is in pain and opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t.

“ What are you talking about Peter?”, Steve tried to compose himself. Peter moved his eyes to the door, hinting about Rumlow, who must be standing just outside. This time Steve nodded, understanding nothing but trusting Peter.

“ Bucky is a very intelligent guy.”, he said out of nowhere. Steve narrowed his eyes but then nodded. They started the session and this time, Peter was talking to him, like really talking. Even if it’s in hidden metaphors and weird language.

“ Did you find out the gender yet?”, Steve tried to change the topic. He gathered that Peter was hinting to talk to Bucky in a subtle way. And saying that whatever he is feeling is real. He shouldn’t believe this because he is a psychologist. He is a man of science. He talks about facts and technology. But the constant fear tugging at his heart, tells him to trust Peter.

“ What’s the point? I have to give it up anyway.”, Peter said looking down. Steve stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. It’s not okay to do it, according to the standard doctor behavior; but he is tired of seeing Peter so down.

“ Well, you can stop calling your baby ‘_it’_. That’s one of the points.”, Steve smiled at him. This time, Peter smiled too and nodded. They went to pathology for a scan, only to see Tony there with Bucky.

Steve fidgeted a little. Truth is that he is avoiding Tony ever since those nightmares started to haunt him weeks ago. He had asked him several times now, but Steve couldn’t tell him. He won’t believe him anyway. But it’s hurting them both. They are being driven apart by those dreams. Which is why, Steve wants to investigate it. He is not going to leave Tony alone, like his father did all those years ago. He loves him and nothing is going to come between them.

“ Dr. Stark.”, Steve acknowledged and Tony smiled in returned. They have been through this before when Steve’s mother died. He completely shut down, no communication for weeks. But Tony waited patiently and Steve came to him days later, drenched in rain and shaking. He cried in Tony’s arms and then slept after a long time. Tony has no idea what it is this time, but he will be there whenever Steve is ready.

“ Dr. Rogers.”, Tony said, trying to restrain himself from touching Steve and offering comfort. Bucky looked at them and sighed.

“ Even teenagers are more subtle than you two.”, he grumbled. He looked at Peter, who nodded to greet him.

“ Rollins, help Peter on the bed.”, Steve ordered but Peter grasped his hand in urgency. Steve somehow understood the hesitation and walked back.

“ Never mind.”, Steve went forward and hooked him to the scanning machine, while Rollins kept glaring at him. Bucky raised his brows and looked at Peter. He was almost going to rejoice this victory, but it didn’t last long.

“ Dr. Rogers!”, the voice sent chills to his spine. Howard Stark is here. Tony was looking at Steve’s reaction. It was very unsettling. Tony couldn’t help but think something went down between these two. Maybe that’s why Steve isn’t telling him what’s wrong.

But then Tony looked at the other occupants in the lab. He thought he might be hallucinating, because there is no way someone like Bucky, who was chattering and mumbling mere seconds ago, would flinch like that. He was crouched in his seat, making himself appear small on purpose while his lower lip quivered. Of course, he is seeing the man with black eyes; his first instinct is to hide. Suddenly Tony is recalling Bucky’s file like he is an android. He looked at Peter next, who was having same kind of silent breakdown. It was...odd. Why would Peter, who doesn’t even know Howard, would react like that. Something is missing and Tony feels like he is getting entangled in a spider web. The more he tries to escape, the more it’s tightening around his body. He noticed that Rollins was standing by his father’s side, even if he came here with Steve.

“ Peter, how are you?”, Peter stiffened at the direct address. Howard was giving him a charming smile. For a moment, if Peter forgets whatever happened in past few months, he could see that old Howard. He had a very kind smile and bright eyes. But this, whatever this is, has a peculiar stench. Peter could see how rotten he is. He closed his eyes and tried to control his heart.

“ Dr. Stark, its good to see you, but I am busy.”, Steve carefully stood in between them. He only has one agenda here, to protect Peter. He isn’t even sure from what, but he is doing it. Howard moved and stood in front of the bed, now staring in Peter’s eyes. Tony saw how Bucky was now closing his eyes with his palm. Tony would’ve left, if Bucky’s tests were complete. He could see the vein on Steve’s forehead, flaring in anger. He felt frozen.

“ It’s alright Dr. Rogers go ahead, I don’t mind.”, Howard grinned and Steve cursed under his breath. He was aware that Tony was looking at him. He had no excuse left but to do the scan in front of them now. He asked Peter to lift his shirt but he didn’t move. Steve did it himself and spread the gel on his belly, which was now exposed in front of Howard. He was looking at his naked flesh with hungry eyes and Peter started shaking terribly. He closed his eyes and grabbed the sheets on the bed. Steve could see the difference in fetal heart monitor on the machine. His blood pressure was spiking to a dangerous point.

“ Peter calm down. It’s okay. There is nothing to worry about.”, but Peter didn’t open his eyes. Steve looked at Howard, barely controlling himself from punching the man.

“ Bucky?”, Peter call say his name for help. He knows Bucky is equally helpless. He said it because he was the only one who could really understand why he is scared to death in front of this monster. Bucky was still having his own minor meltdown.

“ Stop it, please stop it.”, he said, now closing his right ear instead of his eyes. Steve didn’t understand if it was directed at Howard or Peter. He cannot bear that vulnerable whisper Peter just let out. Tony went to Peter, but Howard beat him, leaning close on the other side of the bed.

“ It’s alright Peter, everything is going to be alright.”, Howard’s hand was getting closer to him. Peter was gasping for his breath and Steve never felt this helpless before. Drugs were out of question because of the baby.

So Steve grabbed peter’s hand, holding it tight and looked directly into Howard’s eyes, who now stopped. His eyes were furious, silently challenging Howard to come any closer. Howard understood the hidden ultimatum but smirked.

“ Leave.”, Steve said, barely audible to anyone else but Howard.

“ This is my hospital.”, Howard said.

“ Dr. Howard..”, Tony interrupted.

“ You will not tell me what to do Rogers.”, Howard kept saying.

“ Dr. Howard.”, Tony said loudly this time.

“ If you want to work here, you need to..”, but Tony lost his patience this time.

“ Dad stop!”, Tony said in a stern voice and Howard stopped.

“ We are all leaving, except Dr. Rogers and Mr. Parker.”, and Tony quickly hustled the crowd out of the lab. Peter jumped up and hugged Steve, crying on his shoulder. Steve tried to console him, rubbing circles on his back.

“ It’s okay. No one is gonna hurt you Peter. Not until I am here.”, Steve promised without even thinking. There is no one in the lab now and Steve is sure Tony has taken them away from the door. This might be the only time he could assure him freely.

* * *

Tony stopped Howard when he started walking in the hallway, quickly retreating back to his office.

“ What the hell was that?”, Tony whisper yelled.

“ What’re you talking about?’, Howard looked at him with sincerity.

“ You said yourself he has extreme PTSD. He was raped, has borderline Hapnophobia. It took Steve days to convince him to get a scan and you refused to leave the lab? Why?”, Tony asked impatiently. This isn’t the father he knew his whole life. Howard rolled his eyes.

“ Certainly didn’t have a problem with Steve touching him.”, Howard said, eyes fixed on Tony.

“ What are you implying?”, Tony asked. Howard smirked.

“ That your Steve is emotionally compromised. This isn’t a work for weepy children. I want him off the case.”, Howard said and started leaving, Tony following him on his heels.

“ Steve is our best bet for him. I worked with him Dad, I know..”, but Howard didn’t listen.

“ Your best bet has anger issues. As an acting director of this hospital, I order you to get him off that case now.”, Howard glared at him this time and left. Tony stood still; his father was always the doctor. Even when Tony needed him, he was doctor first and his Dad later. What has gotten into him? Tony huffed and went back to his office. These few minutes were very costing for him. He needs a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for what's to come in next chapters. Hope you guys liked this one:)

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooooooo ????


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